Aight everybody, as you can tell this site is now pretty crapped up becuase the stupid yellow polka-dotted background won't go away.  Believe me I've tried everything and nothing works, so being the person that I am I created a new site.  Go there from now on if you want to learn about my life ok?  LOL, I'm putting the link on here, but just so you know my new username is Special_Duckie_07.  I love you all and I'll see ya on the new site!

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Special_Duckie_07

First day of summer that I've actually been able to relax...  God summer is boring! 

Have You Ever Been In Love By Celine Dion

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart’s shooting stars
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever walked on air
Ever felt like you were dreamin’
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart’s shooting star
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love, have you...

The time I spent
Waiting for something that was heaven-sent
When you find it don’t let go,
I know

Have you ever said a prayer
And found that it was answered
All my hope has been restored
And I ain’t looking anymore
Have you ever been so in love, have you...

Some place that you ain’t leavin’
Somewhere you’re gonna stay
When you finally found the meanin’
Have you ever felt this way

The time I spent
Waiting for something that was heaven-sent
When you find it, don’t let go,
I know...

Coz have you ever been so in love, so in love
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn’t matter near or far
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever been in love
Have you ever been in love
So in... love...

Technically it's the 30th but since it's like 2:00 in the morning I'm still thinking that it's the 29th so I'm going to talk about yesterday (the 29th) like it's today (the 30th) if that makes sense at all.  If it doesn't make sense then you can just tune me out or skip this entry all together.  Ok, so today was my mom's birthday and as such I spent a really big part of my day thinking about her.  Thinking about how different life could be, wondering what she was like, remembering that day... that horrible day... As stupid as this is going to sound, I still talk to her.  I ask her for advice on my problems and I tell her stuff...  I know that she's not going to answer and I know that nothing that I say or do is going to bring her back, but I do it anyways.  I find it comforting, although a lot of people might think that it's somewhat ecentric.  But that's just me, so I guess that people just get used to me eventually.  I just miss her alot...  Anyways enough about that because I know that nobody who reads this thing is going to want to hear about my dead mother.  Yeah so, so far summer has been increadibly hectic.  It's scary how much I've had to do these past couple of days.  I've barely had time to breathe. 

Friday: Went to Maxine's party which was increadibly fun!  I had my whole little posse there and the music was good (of course it was because I helped to pick it out).  OMG and Maxine's little brother kept running after the lights and falling and getting back up and doing it again and dancing...  He was so cute!!!!!  And my baby was there!!!  LOL, so that was another big plus...  big Big BIG plus...  Got home about 11:00 and watched a movie to get my mind off things but it didn't really work.  So I ended up going to my room, thinking, and falling asleep.

Saturday: Got up at about 8:00 and took a shower, got ready, ate something I'm not quite sure you could call breakfast, and then ran out the house at 9:00 to go to Aunty Vid's house for a Ramayana study session.  That lasted for about two odd hours, so then I made my way back to the store, worked for a while and then since I had brought my stuff with me I got ready for Tori's party.  Then Camilla and Aunty Debbie came to pick me up and we went to the party, which was also increadibly fun.  The place she picked was really nice and it had a good dance floor with really good acoustics (not to mention good food!).  Camilla and I then proceeded to make ourselves miserable every time a slow song was played (which was actually a lot more than was needed at a sweet 16) because we didn't have our men with us.  Blah, but we snapped out of it after a while and we did end up having fun.  So after the party I went to dinner with Camilla and her family and then I proceeded home where I got yelled at, but not as badly as I thought I would, so that was all good.  Again I fell asleep thinking.

Sunday: Got up early to Debbie yelling (she always seems to get up on the weird side of the bed on Sundays) and studied for the Ramayana quiz.  Then I met Kenisha and Aunty Babs at a gas station where we then proceeded to the Shiva Mandir to take the quiz that none of us felt very prepared for but it turned out to be somewhat decent, atleast to me.  After the quiz we went out to McDonalds and then to Alicia's Restaurant and then to the store where I continued to work.  Then we came home and I spent three hours outside in the dark cleaning crabs.  If anybody who reads this thing ever liked crab as much as I used to then don't talk to me because there are now things I can tell you about crabs that you would really not like to know if you want to continue eating them.  So after I had finished cleaning the stupid crabs and was sufficiently eaten alive by mosquitoes I came inside and took possibly one of the longest showers of my life.  Then I ate some food that was not crab and watched an indian love story which further depressed me and now I'm here and very hyper at that.

When you look back at these couple of days it really doesn't seem like I did that much does it?  I guess that it's just because these events all happened in such quick succession that I just didn't really have time to think about them.  But looking back it really wasn't that much stuff.  Ok well I think that this was a sufficient entry so now I'm going to go light a candle and fall asleep thinking again.

"A wise monkey is the monkey that does not monkey with another monkey's monkey"

Ok, so I am updating once again... let's see what can I talk about...  Tomorrow is my half birthday so that's a plus, right? LOL, I guess I'm just kinda in a weird mood right now but I'm sure by now you all are used to my random moods.  But what if I'm not talking to anybody?  What if nobody really reads this thing because they know that all I do is ramble on and on about random things and they just leave comments to make it look like they care?  Well actually, that's ok because I talk to myself a lot anywayz so this wouldn't be anything new.  I like talking to myself though because I always know just what to say to make myself feel better.  I'm always there when I need me.  I can make myself laugh.  I'll never leave myself alone (well actually I could leave mylself alone and I've done it before but that's another story all together...).  Ok so maybe, since I can be all these things to myself, I'll be ok when nobody seems to care.  Because I know that I'll care.  I'll alwayz care.  Maybe not alwayz.  What if one day I just stop caring about myself?  Then who will be left to care?  Do I really need anybody to care? 

Wow, looking back at what I just wrote I see that it makes no sense what so ever but I like it for some reason.  So just disregard this whole entry please.